when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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