I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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