Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
