I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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