Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
