i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My life is pants optional.
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