we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
