She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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