I accidentally burped into my bong.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
