Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize