sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
