Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
