you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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