Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
