So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
