just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
