Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I won the penis lottery.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
