And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
