So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize