Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize