Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
