tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
