I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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