She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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