Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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