If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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