What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
