i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize