I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize