Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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