yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
