Even water is tasting like jack daniels
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
