everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
