there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
