who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
