I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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