I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
