I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
