I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
