You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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