Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
