you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
