Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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