addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Randomize
