hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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