Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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