true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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