How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
