dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
