32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
