i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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