THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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