I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
