go do what you do best...puke behind churches
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
