I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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