I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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