1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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