I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
