Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
