Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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