Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
