I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
