dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize