he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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