Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
honey bunches of taint.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
