I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
