I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Say something about gay babies.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
